This week has had my emotions like a rollercoaster. I read once somewhere (probably pinterest) that you know that your heart has mended when you can tell your story and still hold yourself together. Well I think I am there. Here is the story of 'Superman' Stetson......
I woke up one Sunday morning to get all the kids and myself ready for church. I was 31 weeks pregnant at that time and I felt so tired in defeated. I sat in my mudroom and cried quietly (I am a proud woman, I rarely shed tears in front of others- trust me it is not a trait worth having). I prayed that God would show himself in a mighty way to my family so they could understand his mighty ways. Boy, if I would have known what he had in mind I would have better prepared myself. 4 days later we were playing ball with my children at the ball park when my water broke. I was 32 weeks, in the back of my mind I knew the baby would be small but able to survive.
Stetson came into the world after only 3 hours of labor (ready or not!) Everything seemed fine, I was discharged from the hospital but he had to stay until he could eat from a bottle or nursing. The afternoon I was discharged I was rocking my little 4 pounder in my arms in the NICU when his oxygen levels started dropping. Within minutes we were surrounded by nurses and doctors saying something was wrong with his heart. Then they whisked him out of our sight. Brandon and I were helpless. We waited and waited for hours to find out what was happening. We received a phone call late in the night saying they were sorry but the had to intubate him. Brandon and I never prayed so hard in our lives. We sat their and cried feeling useless. We were able to finally go back and see him. He was tiny, with tons of IV machines, bandages, tubes, everywhere. As a mother my first instinct was to take him and run as if he was in some type of trouble only I could heal, but common sense knows better. So we watched him battle for days. Stetson was born with his 2 main arteries switched and on one side of his heart, the aorta was very thin, and he had 3 holes between the chambers.
Babies developed with an extra artery between the 2 chambers that they use while in belly and up to 4 days after birth. When his oxygen was dropping that tiny artery was closing off making him use his 2 main arteries, causing him to hyperventilate. Fortunately there was medicine they gave him to keep that artery open until they figured out a plan of action. The medicine however would make him stop breathing on his own.
There was a moment I was alone with Stetson, it was very early and my husband was taking kids to school. The nurse came in to do her normal beginning of the day routine examining the baby. She had to carefully turn his fragile little body to the other side. (it is unreal how complicated it is with a zillion fragile things are connected!) Every monitor in the room went of and the nurse called a code on the emergency caller, and asked me to leave the room. Holy Moly!!!! I was in a panic, I sat in the breast pump room listening to doctors and nurses rushing in. At that very moment I told God to just take me instead, and pleaded his mercy. I argued with God about how we are his children and he is to take care of us. That was the moment: God gave his son sacrificially for us, and it was time for me to give my son to God. I prayed for him to take care of him since he belongs to him anyways, for his will to be done no matter the circumstance. Minutes later the nurses came and took me back to the room. All the vitals were stable as if nothing happened!
For days it was trial and error on how much medication to give him. One doctor would call him 'Superman' because he was so tiny but was fighting to breath on his own (which at this time was causing him to hyperventilate). God called in Dr. Bleiweis to be Stetson's surgeon that repaired his heart. On March 14th my lil baby boy underwent open heart surgery. The surgery lasted 9 hours. The 24 hours after his surgery he had a 50/50 chance of survival. We spent 2 months in the hospital (at the moment it seemed like years.).
Needless to say, he is our little Superman Stetson! He spent 2 months healing. Homecoming was such a blessing. He is a healthy baby boy and his 1st birthday is going to be one to celebrate big!
God showed his mercy and strategic planning throughout the entire thing. I happen to change to Shands UF for my obgyn doc during the preganancy. If I would have went any where else Stetson would have had to be rushed over to Shands for the cardio nicu care he needed. If Stetson were born on his due date he would have been discharged and at home when his stats dropped. All of my pregnancies were without complication. For me to go into labor early was just Gods way of watching over Stetson. We randomly met a fellow firefighter who offered us an apartment to stay in close to the hospital.Saved us from spending tons of money going back and forth. It remind me of the song sang by Casting Crowns, Already There. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s099Omqw1_E)
God is there. He feels your pain, he understands your yearnings, he knows what you need before you ask for it. He demonstrated and continues to do so in every form of life. Just talk to him and listen to.
